Can I Get A...Wo-Wo-Women's Sizing Standard?

I went shopping after work yesterday with three objects in mind:  new dress, new purse, new shoes.  One of each, nothing too fancy, and summer and work appropriate.  I also vowed to stay away from Target, and try something different. 

Sounds easy enough, right?

UNLESS YOU'RE A GIRL!!  Seriously, who designs women's clothing? 

I started at JC Penney in hopes of finding something cute for a cheap price.  (Note:  there are not many options for clothes shopping near where I live.)  I don't know WHAT they've done there, but it was pretty hard to find anything intriguing.  Their dress selection was horrid.  And it was all around disappointing. 

I did find a few tops in their Worthington section (very work appropriate), two dresses and a blazer to try on.  It was about eight pieces and I walked out with nothing.  That's saying a lot for me!  The dress hems hit at horrible places and showed my bra.  The tops went past my hips (and not in a cute way) and the blazer had arms the size of The Hulk (and it was PETITE!).  You would think out of eight items, at least one would fit properly...?  NOPE!

And let's acknowledge the fact that I can currently fit in things from size Medium to Extra-Large.  HOW IS THERE NOT A SIZING STANDARD?!  Mike is a large in everything.  Same pants measurements in everything.  Something is not fair here!  Women shop way more, and somehow they seem to make it more difficult.  Which is probably why we shop more.  {Okay, now I'm starting to get it...}

The handbag selection left a lot to be desired.  And the shoe section?  Boring!  Is there any way to get a heel that's less than four inches?!  Not everyone can walk around in those puppies, even wedges!  I just want a little 2.5 inch bump for work.  Is that so much to ask for?  Shorties say what?

Frustrated, I headed over to Marshall's, where I had some luck finding some cute tops for work when we first moved here.  Again, the shoe section was horribly boring, and the dresses were not fun or mature or anything I even remotely found interesting. 

So I ventured over to the swim suits.  I've been looking for a cute one piece to support the tatas and make me feel a little more covered up.  THAT was a horrible idea!  The tops are never tight enough, the bottom is either cutting me off or sagging, and the middles are just plain uncomfortable.  How am I supposed to keep the TripleD's in place with a tiny elastic band and two pads the size of a Chips Ahoy?  At least with a two piece, you can get an underwire for the top, and a different size for the bottom.  The STRUGGLE, I tell you.  Which is why right now, I currently use a heavy duty sports bra for water adventures.  How ridiculous is that?


Source

On to the bags.  Even MORE disappointing than JCP. I did find a cute Nine West purse that had me interested all the way until I was next in line to check out. At which point, I decided I didn't like the way it felt when I was holding it, and again, walked out empty handed.

For once, I returned home completely empty handed (to my husband's pleasant surprise) and totally deflated.  I had a clear mission for shopping and was severely let down by women's fashion in general.  Woe is me, I know. 

Does anyone else find clothes shopping absurd?  You would think with all of the options out there, you would be able to find something that strikes your fancy.  Don't you think?