Saturday, December 14, 2013

Reflections on a Failed "Five Year Plan"

A good friend of mine turned 25 in October.  While celebrating with some wine, music, puzzles (don't ask), and chatting, another friend asked "Now that you're 25, what's your advice for us?". {So when we get there, we'll know what to do with your wisdom.}

Her response:  Don't plan too far ahead, because you never know what opportunities are coming, or what curve balls life will throw at you.  

Right around that time, my mom ran into my ex at a store, almost literally.  They each came around a corner and practically ran into each other.  She said they were each startled, mutter a "hello", and walked on.

To bring these stories together:  I had a "Five-Year Plan" with that man.  It was shattered to pieces when I went off to college and met my now-husband.  And I'm SO THANKFUL for that, because my life would be MUCH different had I stayed on track with my previous plan.

After meeting my husband, I literally said - "You're not in my five year plan."  Luckily, I had the balls to make the choices that have brought me to my happily married life with the best man out there.

On a few occasions lately, my ex has come up in conversations with different friends (they know him and his family).  He is 23, married, with a daughter, and another on the way.  The weird thing about all of this?  It was our five plan, and he's living it with someone else.  He kept the plan going and filled in as needed.

Now, don't read into that the wrong way.  I am so.freaking.glad that I am not in that position!  I made myself go away to college on my own, forcing myself to live a life for me.  I wanted to make sure I didn't stay close to home and compromise my future "for a guy".

Eventually, after many discussions with friends and role models, I made the decision to do what was best for me, and end that relationship.  And now I will NEVER EVER make a five year plan ever again!

A few friends have asked me "isn't that weird to think that would have been you?"  Yeah, it is!  I wanted to graduate, get married, and get pregnant all in the same year.  Thinking about that now gives me the gags!

Wow, how my journey has changed {thankfully}.  I want to enjoy being young, travel, and make memories with my friends and husband before giving in to the responsibility of parenting.

Over five years later, my life is not even close to what I thought it would be at the age of 18.  Thank goodness I'm a stubborn, honest, adventure driven person.  Sometimes it's good to be selfish and make yourself and your happiness your main priority.  Don't get caught up in others' life plans and journeys.

Live your life honestly, with you at the center, and you can end up educated, in love, and happily on the road to a lovely life with the man of your dreams!

So what's the moral of this story?  

*You may or may not know what's best for you when you're 18 years old.
*{Unless you're married}, don't make your life decisions based on other people.
*Don't plan so much - live life and take what comes your way!
*Life your life for you.
*A lot can happen before you're 25.

(Note:  No harm or bad feelings are meant toward the mentioned ex.  This is simply two stories raveling into a greater realization and lesson.)