Being that my blog is "Being Mrs. Olson", I will assume that you want to know exactly how I feel about marriage. Hah! I'm just kidding, but I am going to write about it anyway because it is something I've been chatting with friends about a lot lately.
I am married. I love it. And I want everyone to have it. But SLOW. DOWN. PEOPLE!
You hear constantly about people getting engaged, getting married, especially if you are from a small town like me. Sometimes I feel like people think they are getting "left behind" and rush into things. There is NO REASON to rush into marriage! These days, marriage is taken as something that can come and go. Not for me. I truly believe that people should only take the step if they know 100% that they are ready. Forever.
No looking back, no "what if's", no re-dos.
I can honestly say I had no doubts about marrying Mike. I had several people tell me "I can't believe you're not nervous" and "You're so calm". Uh, duh! Why wouldn't you be?!
People should know everything there is to know about someone before they decide to get married. I don't believe in getting married and learning along the way. I am really put off by people who get engaged after a few months/married within a year/rush into things. *My opinion, obviously* but that is the point of this particular post. How can you POSSIBLY know after a few months that you are going to be with that person for the rest of your life? You can't. You can think you know, but you don't. Don't kid yourself.
I consider the ways I changed in the 4 years before Mike and I got engaged, all of the things that we went through. We actually looked at rings a year before we got engaged and both knew that we needed more time. Granted, SOME people meet and get married in 2 months and are married forever. Those people got lucky, realllly lucky. Generally, that is not the case and people should really, really get to know each other in every single way before a wedding is involved.
Not that marriage doesn't have its ups and downs, but couples should learn how they work together, how they solve problems, how they fight, etc, before entering in to a marriage.
Exhibit A: I ran into a friend at Christmas who was recently married. We asked her to come out with us and she said she couldn't. She didn't want to tempt herself. Or upset her husband. UM, HELLO! You probably shouldn't be married then. Let's be real. Side note: they didn't date very long before they got engaged.
Exhibit B: One of my ex-best-friends (we'll get into that another time) met a guy, got engaged, and bought a wedding dress...all before 6 months. TELL ME THAT'S NOT INSANE. Come on. That's just all around poor decision making. Have fun after the honeymoon stage of that relationship, suckers.
I laugh at people's stupid decisions. I know that's awful. But seriously, people.
I hope that all of my married friends are truly happy, all of my dating friends wait until they are truly ready, and all my single friends enjoy the ride until they meet The One.