Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Do You Like Your Marriage?

There's something about marriage that bothers me.

It seems to be the public norm to bash marriage.  Encourage gender roles.  Commiserate misery.


Let me explain...

Think of the expression "old married couple".  As if everything becomes boring and goes to crap after you get married.  Think of "Happy wife, happy life".  As if everything in a marriage is about keeping the wife happy, and that it's the husband's job.  Think of the "old lady being at home tonight".  As if all women are domestic.

The old "haven't gotten any since the wedding day".  Or "gave her a ring and then (so-and-so) happened".

I'm sorry people, but if these are your issues, then you probably should have talked a little more before deciding to marry each other.  I hate when people make marriage seem like a miserable, never-ending, entrapment.  Why is it the societal norm to complain about your marriage/spouse in public?  To make it seem like an impossible thing to be married and HAPPY?

This rant is prompted by many instances, but most recently, our new car purchase.  While passing time with our salesperson (who was fantastic, and his daughter attends Concordia College, Go COBBS!) he kept making statements about "who's in charge of the budget" (insinuating me), "who makes the decisions", and "keeping the wife happy".  Now, I get that he may have been playing the "flatter the wife" card, but this stuff happens ALL THE TIME!  To everyone, not just us.

While we were engaged, sometimes I would confide in my now-husband about feeling a little down, and out of place.  People I talked to about wedding planning, being engaged, etc., would respond with, "I can't imagine myself getting married at this age", "I'm so not ready to get married", and the constant "I can't believe you're getting married!" (not as a compliment).  My amazing guy's response?  "If they were in your shoes, they would have a completely different perspective". can't imagine yourself getting married, because you haven't found the right person/aren't ready for the commitment/whatever your reason.  You're not in the place that I am. So...note to readers - a simple "Congratulations!" will do.  Comparisons aren't necessary.

What's my point?  Let's turn around this negative view of marriage and brag about how our husbands do the laundry, give us back rubs, and tell us how much they love us.  I always have my husband on my side, no matter what.  How is that not AWESOME!?

Marriage isn't a trap, it's a union (whether you're religious or not).  Yeah, there's disagreements, but make your marriage full of love, and you'll make it through.  Choose someone you want to spend every moment with, make every memory with, and spend your LIFE with!

I, for one, think marriage is amazing.  


  1. I couldn't agree more. I have also experienced many of these things and they have always bothered me as well!

  2. I'm not married, nor anywhere near getting there. But I'm incredibly happy for my friends my age (and any age) who are married, and recognize that is their journey and this is mine.