Losing People Who Matter

Last week I experienced a strange event you don't normally think about.  One of my coworkers passed away unexpectedly.  Not something you prepare for, or know how to handle.

To tell you the short story, she didn't show up to work for two days, I (as well as others) were literally sick with worry, and our supervisor probed her father to go to her house.  They found her on Wednesday afternoon, and said she passed away Monday night.  I could tell the moment my old supervisor found out, I could see it on his face.  They took our team to a conference room and told us, and then told the rest of our site after.  It was really hard, a few of us were crying.  It was just SUCH a shock.

She said goodbye Monday night like she always did.  I remember what she was wearing.  I remember her walking out.  27 years old.  Gone too soon.  Her funeral was yesterday.

Yesterday was July 1st, which happens to be the day my mother-in-law passed away.  Yesterday was one year that she was gone.  Sadly, she didn't even make it 30 days past our wedding.  But she was there to celebrate our special day and fought so hard to be there.  I wish I would have included her more, given her the experience of watching someone she loves try on a wedding dress, taste cakes, etc.  Although we didn't do a lot of those "typical wedding" things, and they live in ND, I wish we had done some of those things just for fun.  She won't get to see her own daughter in a wedding dress.

Life is just too damn precious.

I have a really hard time dealing with death.  I simply cannot process the fact that the person is gone.  Lately I have been extremely paranoid about losing someone I love.  There have been a few anniversaries of people I loved passing away and it makes you think.  Makes you worry.

Mike's bit of wisdom was "You never know when it's your time to go."  Um...NOT HELPFUL!
But he's right.  I know it is said all the time, but what would you do if your loved one was gone tomorrow?  What would THEY do if YOU were gone tomorrow?  It's awful.  Awful to think about.  I can't get over the fact that my 27 year old coworker went home and never came back.  I'll never forget her smile and awesome attitude.  But she was taken away...for some reason.  My mother-in-law won't ever see her grandkids.  She, too, was taken away for some reason I can't understand.

Make sure that every moment you have is worth it.  Make memories, make friends, live your life.  Give hugs hello and kisses goodbye.  Call your parents.  Send notes to your grandparents.  Check in with your friends.  Make your life a story to remember.