Do You Like Your Marriage?

There's something about marriage that bothers me.

It seems to be the public norm to bash marriage.  Encourage gender roles.  Commiserate misery.

I'M SICK OF IT!

Let me explain...

Think of the expression "old married couple".  As if everything becomes boring and goes to crap after you get married.  Think of "Happy wife, happy life".  As if everything in a marriage is about keeping the wife happy, and that it's the husband's job.  Think of the "old lady being at home tonight".  As if all women are domestic.

The old "haven't gotten any since the wedding day".  Or "gave her a ring and then (so-and-so) happened".

I'm sorry people, but if these are your issues, then you probably should have talked a little more before deciding to marry each other.  I hate when people make marriage seem like a miserable, never-ending, entrapment.  Why is it the societal norm to complain about your marriage/spouse in public?  To make it seem like an impossible thing to be married and HAPPY?

This rant is prompted by many instances, but most recently, our new car purchase.  While passing time with our salesperson (who was fantastic, and his daughter attends Concordia College, Go COBBS!) he kept making statements about "who's in charge of the budget" (insinuating me), "who makes the decisions", and "keeping the wife happy".  Now, I get that he may have been playing the "flatter the wife" card, but this stuff happens ALL THE TIME!  To everyone, not just us.

While we were engaged, sometimes I would confide in my now-husband about feeling a little down, and out of place.  People I talked to about wedding planning, being engaged, etc., would respond with, "I can't imagine myself getting married at this age", "I'm so not ready to get married", and the constant "I can't believe you're getting married!" (not as a compliment).  My amazing guy's response?  "If they were in your shoes, they would have a completely different perspective".   Yeah...you can't imagine yourself getting married, because you haven't found the right person/aren't ready for the commitment/whatever your reason.  You're not in the place that I am. So...note to readers - a simple "Congratulations!" will do.  Comparisons aren't necessary.

What's my point?  Let's turn around this negative view of marriage and brag about how our husbands do the laundry, give us back rubs, and tell us how much they love us.  I always have my husband on my side, no matter what.  How is that not AWESOME!?

Marriage isn't a trap, it's a union (whether you're religious or not).  Yeah, there's disagreements, but make your marriage full of love, and you'll make it through.  Choose someone you want to spend every moment with, make every memory with, and spend your LIFE with!

I, for one, think marriage is amazing.  

Reflections on a Failed "Five Year Plan"

A good friend of mine turned 25 in October.  While celebrating with some wine, music, puzzles (don't ask), and chatting, another friend asked "Now that you're 25, what's your advice for us?". {So when we get there, we'll know what to do with your wisdom.}

Her response:  Don't plan too far ahead, because you never know what opportunities are coming, or what curve balls life will throw at you.  

Right around that time, my mom ran into my ex at a store, almost literally.  They each came around a corner and practically ran into each other.  She said they were each startled, mutter a "hello", and walked on.

To bring these stories together:  I had a "Five-Year Plan" with that man.  It was shattered to pieces when I went off to college and met my now-husband.  And I'm SO THANKFUL for that, because my life would be MUCH different had I stayed on track with my previous plan.

After meeting my husband, I literally said - "You're not in my five year plan."  Luckily, I had the balls to make the choices that have brought me to my happily married life with the best man out there.

On a few occasions lately, my ex has come up in conversations with different friends (they know him and his family).  He is 23, married, with a daughter, and another on the way.  The weird thing about all of this?  It was our five plan, and he's living it with someone else.  He kept the plan going and filled in as needed.

Now, don't read into that the wrong way.  I am so.freaking.glad that I am not in that position!  I made myself go away to college on my own, forcing myself to live a life for me.  I wanted to make sure I didn't stay close to home and compromise my future "for a guy".

Eventually, after many discussions with friends and role models, I made the decision to do what was best for me, and end that relationship.  And now I will NEVER EVER make a five year plan ever again!

A few friends have asked me "isn't that weird to think that would have been you?"  Yeah, it is!  I wanted to graduate, get married, and get pregnant all in the same year.  Thinking about that now gives me the gags!

Wow, how my journey has changed {thankfully}.  I want to enjoy being young, travel, and make memories with my friends and husband before giving in to the responsibility of parenting.

Over five years later, my life is not even close to what I thought it would be at the age of 18.  Thank goodness I'm a stubborn, honest, adventure driven person.  Sometimes it's good to be selfish and make yourself and your happiness your main priority.  Don't get caught up in others' life plans and journeys.

Live your life honestly, with you at the center, and you can end up educated, in love, and happily on the road to a lovely life with the man of your dreams!

So what's the moral of this story?  

*You may or may not know what's best for you when you're 18 years old.
*{Unless you're married}, don't make your life decisions based on other people.
*Don't plan so much - live life and take what comes your way!
*Life your life for you.
*A lot can happen before you're 25.
*DON'T MAKE A FIVE YEAR PLAN, EVER!

(Note:  No harm or bad feelings are meant toward the mentioned ex.  This is simply two stories raveling into a greater realization and lesson.)

Chicken Wire Window Display

I've had my eye out for an old window pane lately.  You can find lots of ideas for them on Pinterest.  I was mainly thinking of doing some sort of picture frame...  But if you've ever been to my place, you know I have picture frames EVERYWHERE.  I love pictures.  I love being able to look at my friends, family, and memories every day and smile.  But I have plenty for now.

A few weeks ago I went back home to go to a barn sale with my mom.  It happened to be the perfect weekend, because the occasional stores were open in Dassel, MN, so we made a morning of it!  We didn't have too much luck at the barn sale, but proceeded to find some goodies at all of the stores in town.

One of my finds was an old wooden window frame with chicken wire on it.  I don't know if it's for a coop or if the wire was added at some point in its life.  Then in the back of the store, I found an eight-panel window.  UGH!  DECISIONS!  After a huddle with my mom, I decided on the chicken wire window.  Something a little different than the usual.

When we got home, it sat up against our fridge for a few weeks.  I couldn't quite decide what to do with it  Did I want it in the loft, that is slowly becoming more shabby?  In the safari room?  Start taking over the basement?

And then it came to me...

Christmas card display!!  

I bought some miniature clothespins at Michael's, it was probably about $3 for a pack of 18.  You can find these online as well at sites such as Oriental Trading (depending on how many you want).

So as not to put any more holes in the wall, I took down a picture frame that hangs in our living room by the front door.  And I hung up my window!  I didn't paint it, sand it, or fix it.  I left it as is: rugged, uneven and all.  In the future I may paint it or stain it, but for this season, I'm going to let it be itself!

Some Detail

Side View

On the wall!

It definitely adds a little more character and charm to our living room, and I can't wait for the holiday cards to start flowing in so I can add them!  After the holidays, I may simply put new pictures on it with the clothespins.  Maybe my sacrifice will just lead to more pictures being displayed {evil giggle}.

Let me know what you think, or if you have any ideas for its next use!